The #1 Thing You and Tom Hanks Don’t Know About Coaching
In the famous scene from “A League of Their Own”, Tom Hanks’ character Jimmy Dugan berates one of his players for making a throwing error. She begins to weep, and a classic movie line is born:
“There’s No Crying in Baseball”
Then Jimmy launches into an expletive laced tirade of examples proving his point. And based on the evidence, Jimmy Dugan was right. There is no crying in baseball. But Jimmy lost the argument. He lost influence. He lost credibility. And kicked of a spiral leading to his being tossed from the game.
Jimmy lost because being right isn’t enough.
It’s true the player (Evelyn) made an ill advised throw.
It’s true Evelyn’s error let runs score.
It’s true Evelyn’s error could lose the game for her team.
But Evelyn won’t remember the truth of any of those facts. She’ll first remember how she FELT about her coach.
Gaining influence and collaboration in your relationships is rarely about what literally happens, it’s almost always about how the person FEELS about what happens. Feelings are real. Feelings are powerful. And if you ignore feelings, trouble is never too far away.
Find your method to hold team members accountable without trampling their feelings. Tom Hanks pulls it off later in the move.
You don’t have to be soft, just be smart.